22 (OVER Soon) - The End of My First Semester of College
Hello! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog. :) Again, this blog is meant to share how music has changed my way about life... so not only do I hope you get some great insights, but also please feel free to listen to some of the songs that I talk about it! Music can truly be an amazing outlet to find hope when there doesn't seem to be any left. Whenever I get really scared that I'm alone, I plug into my music. So without further ado...
The first song that I'm going to be talking about is 22 (OVER Soon) by Bon Iver. This song is from Bon Iver's most recent album titled 22, A Million. This album was a way for Justin Vernon, stage name Bon Iver, to express his soul-searching trip to a Greek Island that he took between publishing albums. He shared in a press conference in September of 2016 that this trip actually failed to fulfill his pursuit in finding himself. He felt more lost than before and the opening line to Verse 1, "It might be over soon", describes how everything going on in his life was all too much. He just wanted "it" to be over. The lonely days of constant searching and defeat and not knowing what he wanted from life... that is what makes this song so incredible. It sets the emotional tone for how writing this album changed his perception of himself.
Verse 1:
(It might be over soon, two two)
Where you gonna look for confirmation?
And if it's ever gonna happen
So as I'm standing at the station
It might be over soon
This past semester, I've been personally struggling to find myself. For a large majority of my life, I defined myself as an athlete and when that was taken away from me, I panicked. Suddenly, I felt like someone who was just going through the daily motions of life... waiting and wishing something would happen to show me who I was. I was also frightened by the depth of change that had occured in my life since moving to college and all the relationships that I felt distant from.
I found this song when I was listening to older Bon Iver songs (specifically off of "For Emma, Forever Ago"... please listen to this album!). At first, I was very confused with how autotuned and "techy" the song sounded because it was nothing like Bon Iver's older songs. I had been so used to his usual soft acoustic songs and his rustic voice that at first listen, I didn't like 22 (OVER Soon) at all. But after a couple of listens, instead of just hearing the sounds, I paid closer attention to the lyrics.
"It might be over soon" stood out to me because for all the awful things that happen in our lives, they can't possibly last forever. It might be hard to find a purpose or a reason for all the challenges we are faced with... but they will end. And somehow and in someway, we will come out stronger and better. "Where you gonna look for confirmation?" made me think of all the people and places that bring love into my life. I know that I am loved by my family and friends... but someone that I've neglected to love from time to time is the most important person in my life: myself. It is so important to look for confirmation within yourself because ultimately, you will forever be your #1 supporter. You set your goals and give yourself motivation to accomplish your dreams. To lead a fulfilling life, you have to love yourself first before you can love others.
"And if it's ever gonna happen"... well that just scares me because it implies the doubt that we won't ever find "it"... our purpose, our passions, etc. I think this is a really important point that Justin brings up because in reality, there are endless possible ways that our lives can change that we have absolutely no control over. We can never be 100% certain about who we are and what we want from our lives. So why not just live it while we can!? This is easier said than done. Believe me! One of the personal goals that I've set for myself is to stop being so critical of who I am... and in doing this, I'm hoping to just live and love more. :)
Lastly, since leaving my home for college, my spiritual faith has grown immensely and provided me with another emotional outlet. The people that I've met through church have helped me to understand that I won't always be who I was... and I'm ever so slowly trying to wrap my head around that. Justin touches upon this idea when he sings "So as I'm standing at the station / It might be over soon", because when I feel like I'm standing alone through a difficult time, I become exhausted and hopeless and scared of disappointing myself. I constantly compare who I was with who I'm becoming... and as you might have guessed, this is an awful way of living!
And so I'll leave you with one final thought. The last couple of lines of 22 (OVER Soon) have had the greatest impact on me.
"Caught daylight, goddamn right. Within a rise there lies a scission. (It might be over soon)."
A "scission" is a division or split between two different ideas or people... so as I've applied this lyric to my life, I see myself starting to separate from who I was. But it is important to recognize this as a process... to take things day by day... and song by song. :)
Sleep good and hold tight,
Sarah
Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash
I found this song when I was listening to older Bon Iver songs (specifically off of "For Emma, Forever Ago"... please listen to this album!). At first, I was very confused with how autotuned and "techy" the song sounded because it was nothing like Bon Iver's older songs. I had been so used to his usual soft acoustic songs and his rustic voice that at first listen, I didn't like 22 (OVER Soon) at all. But after a couple of listens, instead of just hearing the sounds, I paid closer attention to the lyrics.
"It might be over soon" stood out to me because for all the awful things that happen in our lives, they can't possibly last forever. It might be hard to find a purpose or a reason for all the challenges we are faced with... but they will end. And somehow and in someway, we will come out stronger and better. "Where you gonna look for confirmation?" made me think of all the people and places that bring love into my life. I know that I am loved by my family and friends... but someone that I've neglected to love from time to time is the most important person in my life: myself. It is so important to look for confirmation within yourself because ultimately, you will forever be your #1 supporter. You set your goals and give yourself motivation to accomplish your dreams. To lead a fulfilling life, you have to love yourself first before you can love others.
"And if it's ever gonna happen"... well that just scares me because it implies the doubt that we won't ever find "it"... our purpose, our passions, etc. I think this is a really important point that Justin brings up because in reality, there are endless possible ways that our lives can change that we have absolutely no control over. We can never be 100% certain about who we are and what we want from our lives. So why not just live it while we can!? This is easier said than done. Believe me! One of the personal goals that I've set for myself is to stop being so critical of who I am... and in doing this, I'm hoping to just live and love more. :)
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And so I'll leave you with one final thought. The last couple of lines of 22 (OVER Soon) have had the greatest impact on me.
"Caught daylight, goddamn right. Within a rise there lies a scission. (It might be over soon)."
A "scission" is a division or split between two different ideas or people... so as I've applied this lyric to my life, I see myself starting to separate from who I was. But it is important to recognize this as a process... to take things day by day... and song by song. :)
Sleep good and hold tight,
Sarah
Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash
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