Fallingwater- And Then We Get Back Up
It has been a few weeks since I've last posted. I think it is because I've sort of been in a funk recently with myself. Unfortunately, my leg injury doesn't seem to be steadily progressing (or as much as I would have liked). Also, as my winter break is coming to a close, I'm starting to feel a little bit uneasy about going back to school. One part of me is super excited to be back with people who I definitely feel close to... but another part of me is a little scared knowing that I am still pretty uncertain of who I am without being a runner. The biggest piece of myself that I feel like I am missing is my self-confidence in connecting with people. Usually, I feel so at home with talking and interacting with people... but now I'm a little lost with how to even start.
It also doesn't help that certain aspects of my life feel miles away (this is in part because they quite literally are). However, my goal for this upcoming semester is to go into it with an open mind. First semester is over. There is nothing that I can do to change it. While there is quite a lengthy list of things that are on the "bad" side of that semester, the "good" things that I can take away from first semester are my academics that I was able to keep up with, the friends that I was able to make, and the faculty that I was able to connect with. One thing that I have to remember is that this (college) is not a sprint to the finish line; it is a long marathon into what will end of being my career once these four years are over. And I can't just focus on all the bad things that have happened in the past (or that might even still happen in the future) because why would I make the conscious choice to live miserably? So instead of saying... "if this continues to happen, I can't do it"... instead of giving in, why don't I stop having impossibly high expectations for myself? I think this will really help me to open up more to others, be vulnerable, and have more love for myself.
...So you're probably wondering what song I'm going to be talking about!! Well I could say so much about every single one of her songs, but today, I want to talk about "Fallingwater" by Maggie Rogers. Just a heads up, her first complete debut album is coming out on the 18th... so PLEASE give it a listen because her voice and lyrics are truly electrifying to the soul. Her songs have truly gotten me through a lot in the past couple of months and I don't know where I'd be without them.
My favorite part in "Fallingwater" is the very first couple of lines.
Hold on, I thought that I could take it from here.
Oh, I thought that I was gone and I'm cleared.
Now it's getting harder.
It makes so much sense to me because often times, I get so caught up with myself... that I can do anything without the help of anyone. But that only makes life harder. The longer we shut ourselves out from accepting help from others, the harder things become for us to accomplish. We substitute our genuine feelings for fake representations of what we want others to see us as. Later in the song, Maggie says "And now I'm in the creek. And it's getting harder. I'm like falling water".
So the longer we hide how we're truly feeling, the harder things become. Everything becomes a blur and rushes into each other, colliding like water cascading downward. It's messy and hard to control once we are down that deep. Just like falling water. I think that is why I love this song so much. It shows you that we can't function all on our own. Even if we believe that we can be 100% self-sufficient, that we're okay being on our own... there is nothing worth more than the power of the human connection (especially if you're going through difficult times in your life).
Again, as second semester begins to creep up on me, I won't let it push me around like first semester did. I refuse to already give up on something that hasn't even started. I will not continuously compare myself to those around me... I will choose to just simply be myself and love myself for who I really am. And when things start to fall like water around me, I won't be afraid to confide in people whom I feel are close to me.
Sleep good and hold tight :)
-Sarah
Photo by Alex Block on Unsplash Photo by Stanislav Kondratiev on Unsplash
It also doesn't help that certain aspects of my life feel miles away (this is in part because they quite literally are). However, my goal for this upcoming semester is to go into it with an open mind. First semester is over. There is nothing that I can do to change it. While there is quite a lengthy list of things that are on the "bad" side of that semester, the "good" things that I can take away from first semester are my academics that I was able to keep up with, the friends that I was able to make, and the faculty that I was able to connect with. One thing that I have to remember is that this (college) is not a sprint to the finish line; it is a long marathon into what will end of being my career once these four years are over. And I can't just focus on all the bad things that have happened in the past (or that might even still happen in the future) because why would I make the conscious choice to live miserably? So instead of saying... "if this continues to happen, I can't do it"... instead of giving in, why don't I stop having impossibly high expectations for myself? I think this will really help me to open up more to others, be vulnerable, and have more love for myself.
 |
| definitely easier said than done... |
...So you're probably wondering what song I'm going to be talking about!! Well I could say so much about every single one of her songs, but today, I want to talk about "Fallingwater" by Maggie Rogers. Just a heads up, her first complete debut album is coming out on the 18th... so PLEASE give it a listen because her voice and lyrics are truly electrifying to the soul. Her songs have truly gotten me through a lot in the past couple of months and I don't know where I'd be without them.
My favorite part in "Fallingwater" is the very first couple of lines.
Hold on, I thought that I could take it from here.
Oh, I thought that I was gone and I'm cleared.
Now it's getting harder.
It makes so much sense to me because often times, I get so caught up with myself... that I can do anything without the help of anyone. But that only makes life harder. The longer we shut ourselves out from accepting help from others, the harder things become for us to accomplish. We substitute our genuine feelings for fake representations of what we want others to see us as. Later in the song, Maggie says "And now I'm in the creek. And it's getting harder. I'm like falling water".
 |
| THE Maggie Rogers :) |
So the longer we hide how we're truly feeling, the harder things become. Everything becomes a blur and rushes into each other, colliding like water cascading downward. It's messy and hard to control once we are down that deep. Just like falling water. I think that is why I love this song so much. It shows you that we can't function all on our own. Even if we believe that we can be 100% self-sufficient, that we're okay being on our own... there is nothing worth more than the power of the human connection (especially if you're going through difficult times in your life).
Again, as second semester begins to creep up on me, I won't let it push me around like first semester did. I refuse to already give up on something that hasn't even started. I will not continuously compare myself to those around me... I will choose to just simply be myself and love myself for who I really am. And when things start to fall like water around me, I won't be afraid to confide in people whom I feel are close to me.
 |
| and we grow despite all the challenges we face! |
-Sarah
Photo by Alex Block on Unsplash Photo by Stanislav Kondratiev on Unsplash
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